I’d like to start this post with a stream of consciousness style depiction of the insanity I’ve experienced over these two purchases. Here goes.

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Okay, now that that’s over with, I bought a lamp and some fluorescent light bulbs from Bed, Bath and Beyond shortly after moving in (when I discovered that my bedroom had no ceiling light!)

Light: http://www.checkolite.com/product/6940.aspx
Light Bulbs: those twisty ones, trying to be all eco-conscious.

I was really excited about the lamp and the shelf space, so I opened it right away and started putting it together. First problem: the base of the lamp had a crooked screw hole. Could not continue – instead of returning the stupid thing (which is what I really should have done), I called Customer Service, who sent me a new part.

For some reason, the part was returned to them and never reached me – I called, two weeks later and they insisted it had been delivered. I entered the tracking number into UPS, told them ‘Uh, I don’t live in Jersey City, hence the Manhattan address,’ they felt stupid, then they re-sent it.

I finally received the part, which was completely beaten up and looked like it had been eaten by a rodent in places, but fuck, I tried to put together the thing anyway.

The lamp is basically four shelves, with the lampshade sitting on the fourth shelf. To connect the shelf columns, you use double sided screws. Too bad CheckoLite DOESN’T DESIGN THEIR SCREWS OR SCREW HOLES PROPERLY, so they begin turning with the pole you’re trying to secure!

Eventually, I forced the shit together, despite the fact that all the screw holes seemed to be stripped and all the pieces of wood seemed to be incorrectly cut/bent/otherwise damaged. It sat half-assembled in my living room for about two weeks, but my little desk lamp finally burnt out today and I was sitting in my room in the dark, so I figured it was time.

I then put the fluorescent light in the lamp and turned it on, only to realize that that sort of light is really freaking ugly.

Halogen bulbs are so much better. Now I feel like I’m in a mental institution. Blurg.

Moral of story:
Bed, Bath and Beyond is Hell on Earth – it exists to steal your money
Lamps from CheckOLite are defective by definition
Fluorescent lights are irrevocably ugly – what you make up for in eco-consciousness, you lose in aesthetic charm.

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