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Erxi, Eric, Patti, Skye (from left to right)

At 7:00 AM on Saturday morning, I left for the Church Avenue stop in Brooklyn (since Manhattan-bound trains are all skipping Fort Hamilton Parkway) and took a two-hour nap-ride to the Bronx.

Almost twelve hours later, I’m in my room again, with barely any Saturday left. I’m cleaning my room, it’s freezing, I’m getting a little sick, and I wandered around campus aimlessly for about an hour before just coming home.. I don’t know what I’m going to do, I’m on vacation for how many weeks?!?!

God. I’ve been working almost every day since this semester started.
Anyway, back to the topic at hand, I remember when it was really slow at the Bronx House over the summer, that I could barely stand working there, and making that commute (especially when I moved to Brooklyn! TWO HOURS!) for two students, three students… It never takes long, though, for the job to issue a swift reality check in the most positive sense of the term. One, two, or all of the students will show in some way that they are growing, that they are interested in music, that they enjoy what they’re becoming — that in itself makes the money not even matter to me.

I’ve learned a lot of things about my own playing also; you know the most about what you’re doing when you can talk about it. I’m more aware of the tension in my shoulders and neck, and hey! My bow isn’t straight all the time, I know to look out for it now.. I feel like the human aspect of violin, or music in general, appears much earlier in teaching than it does in performing — and that is comforting to me. In a way, I find that a lot of my self-confidence as a performer is from knowing that I understand what I’m doing, mentally. Even still, there’s a lot that I definitely don’t understand.. there’s something about performing in general, also, that strikes me as cold, in that humanity has no place in performing until you know what to do with it.. which I don’t… yet…

Maybe it’s just the weather. I hate this weather.
They don’t clean the snow up in the Bronx or Brooklyn, and they don’t clean it up enough in Manhattan either — I wonder how the snow in Queens looks..

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